


Found & Lost

by seikaitsukimizu



Series: Team Loyalty [1]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 17:16:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/814023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seikaitsukimizu/pseuds/seikaitsukimizu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Now here he was, on some random backwater planet scoping an alien bar for any hints about where the Goa’uld who’d taken Sheppard might be hiding."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Found & Lost

**Author's Note:**

> I was reading [](http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/profile)[**lavvyan**](http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/)'s [Lord of the Sea](http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/353668.html#cutid1) and got bitten by a plot bunny. Not this one, ironically, but I realized without some backstory, the plot bunny didn't make sense. Hence, the backstory. If you haven't read [Lord of the Sea](http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/353668.html#cutid1) yet, do so. This fic doesn't make much sense without it. And major thanks to [](http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://lavvyan.livejournal.com/)**lavvyan** for allowing me to play in her sandbox! Enjoy!

Lorne was very rarely ever shocked. He’d grown up in the Bay Area, been abducted by aliens, and traveled to other worlds for interpretive dancing tea rituals. The one time he’d stepped in on Cadman naked he hadn’t missed a beat, just handed her a towel and smirked while she promised to blow up his favorite F-302. Doc Zelenka, after he’d overcome his off-world twitchiness, had made it his goal to get a shocked, startled, or stunned reaction out of the Major. He’d never succeeded.

Mainly because for the past three months, Lorne’s been brooding. It wasn’t his fault his commander had been captured. Hell, he was probably lucky no snake had kidnapped Sheppard before. The man was just too pretty, even Lorne could see that. It was like Doctor Jackson. There was something about him that was alluring to parasites. And he’d tried his best, they all had, but the Jaffa had roughly escorted them off the planet and somehow had locked out the Stargate so they couldn’t go back.

And now here he was, on some random backwater planet scoping an alien bar for any hints about where the Goa’uld who’d taken Sheppard might be hiding, and there was the man in question, slumped over an alien ale in the back corner.

There didn’t appear to be any Jaffa around, and Lorne was wearing the leather and burlap-like cloth of alien traders to be incognito. If Sheppard was a host, he’d be recognized, but at least he didn’t stand out in the SGC uniform. The downside was that he didn’t have his radio to call the rest of his team in for backup. With luck, they’d return from checking out the local irrigation systems shortly.

Keeping a surreptitious hand on his energy pistol, he sauntered over to Sheppard’s table and took a seat across from him. No one seemed to care, he caught no one evaluating him out of the corner of their eye. Even Sheppard kept staring at his half-empty drink. “In case you’re thinking of calling back-up-“ he started quietly.

“He’s not here.”

Lorne froze, his mind flooding red at the implication. “The host-“

Sheppard let out a small snort. “I mean Mer’deth. It’s just me.”

Lorne kept his voice low, the hand on his weapon still tense. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe you, sir.”

“I knew you were gonna say that.” Sheppard lifted his glass, stared at it, then took a quick swig. “Tastes like camel piss. And don’t ask how I know what that tastes like.”

Lorne knew the story. They all knew the survival story. It had been spilt on a drunken team night when the four of them were just starting to feel comfortable with one-another. About four months before the abduction. “We can be back at base in under an hour. The Stargate-“

“I know, Major,” Sheppard said petulantly. “I’ve know that for two days.” He pulled a GDO out of his, now that Lorne’s looking at it, stylish yet utilitarian vest. “He even gave me this. He said he didn’t want me to go splat on the iris.” A half-smile crept onto the Colonel’s face. “He doesn’t like to leave things unresolved. Or leave any hard feelings. It’s kind of touching.”

“In a creepy, I just mind-raped you way,” Lorne bit out. He’s got an urge to snatch the GDO off the table. Just having it out feels like too much visibility in a potentially hostile situation.

“He didn’t do that.” This time, Sheppard’s voice was angry. “He didn’t…he didn’t hurt me. He was…it was…” he let out a grunt, “it’s complicated, Major.”

Lorne got that. Well, sort of got that. Okay, if he’d been taken over by a snake he’d probably be a little screwed in the head, too. Still… “If you’ve been here three days, why haven’t you dialed home?”

Sheppard remained utterly silent, brooding into his now empty glass. He didn’t fidget, or glance around, or even tense up. He just sat there, either refusing, or not willing to answer the question.

Lorne really wished the Doc and Cadman would get here. He and Sheppard were an even match, but he and Cadman had always been able to take the Colonel down while sparing two-on-one. Of course, a zat blast would have the same effect, but it’d be far too obvious. Plus, he was pretty sure his current nifty energy weapon didn’t have that particular setting on it.

“I don’t think I can go back,” Sheppard finally let out as a sigh.

“You don’t have to,” Lorne replied, trying to be comforting. “We’ll have Doc Heightmeyer talk with you and you can, you know, work through it.”

Now, now Sheppard looked at him. It wasn’t a resigned look, or a grateful look, or even an exasperated ‘I’m laughing at you on the inside’ look. It was the look her used when natives or Colonel Mitchell were being particularly slow. A cramp began to eat at his stomach, and his rare acid reflux problem had begun its march up his chest. “You don’t get it, Major.”

Lorne swallowed, because…because this couldn’t be right. Sheppard should be thrilled. He was free from the clutches of some parasitic monster that took over his body. He should be singing and dancing and panting to go home. “With all due respect, sir, I can’t-“

“You’ve already changed the IDCs.” He pushed the GDO further across the table. “I’ve been declared missing in action for three months. I’ve already been compromised in the eyes of the SGC. Even if I came home, I wouldn’t be able to go out again.”

“Yes you would.” Lorne’s grip had shifted to the edge of the table. He could feel splinters dig into his skin as he clutched the wood. “Carter’s been cleared. And hell, even Teal’c. He was a First Prime.”

Sheppard sighed. “It’s more than that. It’s,” he waved his hands circularly, trying to express something. Finally, he let it just drop to the table. “You know I suck at emotional things. And Mer’deth. It wasn’t…he wasn’t…”

Lorne could feel the acid just at the back of his throat. “You can’t be serious, sir. It’s a trick. Pheromones or chemicals or-“

“I’m lonely,” he snapped. “And so was…is…he. But it was more than just ‘oh, Tau’ri, must take and be pretty.’ There was…” Sheppard punches the table softly. “Damnit, Lorne, just…he let me go. He didn’t have to. He could’ve…he could’ve subdued me, or tortured me, or made me his damn prisoner.”

“Instead he’s fucking with your head, sir. And he’s not even in it.”

The intensity in Sheppard’s eyes was enough for Lorne to know that if his commander had been Superman, he’d have been a charred outline on the wall. “This is something I gotta do, Lorne,” he grated out. “I’m going back, because there’s something both of us need, from each other.” He waved his hand over the table. “He doesn’t care about you, or Earth, or even the fuckin’ Goa’uld. So you can go back and report that he and I are no threat.”

“You know I can’t, sir.” Lorne tried to pry his hands from the table, but they wouldn’t let go. “You know they’ll recommend to shoot on sight. You know they’ll believe you’ve been permanently compromised. And they won’t leave you alone until you’re retrieved or dead.”

“And if you bring me back, I’ll escape.” He pointed at Lorne. “Maybe not immediately, maybe not for years. But I would make it my purpose to get back on a Gate team. And the first world we went to, I would turn around and dial his planet.”

Lorne swallowed. “You have to know,” he squeezed out, “the kind of position you’re putting me in.”

Sheppard slouched back in his chair, completely laid back to all those that didn’t know him. Lorne knew him enough to see he was wound tight, ready to run, to fight, to do anything to get away if necessary. “I know it sucks.” He rubbed the back of his neck, ducking his head. “If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have a shot. But you…I trust you, Lorne. You know me better than my brother.”

Lorne knew that first hand. He’d made it a point to fly to the Sheppard compound to explain the missing-in-action status in person. David Sheppard hadn’t even batted an eye before asking if anyone would be stepping in to take Sheppard’s shares of the company, or if he could purchase them uncontested. He also knew he was lucky as hell that the man hadn’t filed charges for Lorne breaking his nose.

Instead, he swallowed again, and used the last weapon he knew of. “We need you, too. We’re not a team without you.”

Guilt finally flashed over Sheppard’s face. Briefly, but resolve soon replaced it. “You were always being groomed to lead your own team, Major.” He reached out and clapped Lorne on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’re taking good care of them.”

This was it. This was the moment. All he had to do was grab Sheppard’s arm and pull out his weapon, potential hostiles be damned. It would take two seconds, and Sheppard’s shields were down. All he had to do was move his hands. One to the arm, the other to his gun. He could do this. He had to do this.

Instead, as Sheppard pulled his arm back, Lorne reached up and grasped it in a strong grip, shaking it briefly. “You were one of the best Colonel’s I’ve ever served under.”

Sheppard smiled then, his actual, goofy looking smile that he only let appear around his team. “And you’re gonna go far, Major. I can already tell.” He pulled his hand back and made to get up.

“Your dog tags.” Sheppard froze. “Give me your dog tags, with the GDO.” Sheppard hesitated, but then dug under his shirt and pulled them out, laying them almost reverently on the table. It looked like he was struggling to let go, but after a minute, his hand relaxed, and the metal clunked lightly on the table. “You’re sure this is what you want?”

Sheppard ran a hand over his face. “I’m pretty sure, Lorne. But if I’m not,” the ‘charm the natives with a grin’ mask slipped on, “at least I went out defending the world.”

“And your team.”

Sheppard nodded. “And my team. Good luck, Major.” He puttered around the chair, tossed some metal ingots on the table, then headed towards the back room.

Lorne sat there for a few moments. He had two, maybe three minutes before Sheppard’s super stealth abilities kicked in and he’d be untraceable. He could go out, shoot the man in the leg, and drag him back to Stargate Command. But he knew Sheppard, and if the man promised to run back to the Goa’uld, he would. He’d steal a whole spaceship to do it.

No, if Sheppard ever needed rescuing, he’d let Lorne know, somehow. Right now, he honestly thought returning to this Mer’deth was right, was in his best interest. And maybe he was right. No one had ever heard of a good Goa’uld for years, and then they’d met the Tok’ra. Maybe this Mer’deth was like them, just not with them. Maybe Sheppard was fostering new allies against the Goa’uld for Earth.

“Maybe you’re just deluding yourself, or getting high off the fumes.” He sniffed Sheppard’s empty cup, grimaced, then snatched the dog tags and GDO off the table, stuffing them in his jacket as he headed out the front.

Cadman was just approaching, as was the Doc. Like him, they were in worn leather and, in the lieutenant’s case, a chain mail-like mesh over her upper body. “Find anything interesting?”

“Yes,” Zelenka said, “they have regular…appointments with some off-world group they don’t wish to tell us about. It’s a very advanced system. Genius for their level.” He shook his head. “Very peculiar.”

“I heard one of them mention a Jaffa. They may worship a Goa’uld in exchange for the technology, low-key that it is.” Her gaze shifted around, assessing the bar structure and the people around them. “Any luck on the information front?”

Lorne swallowed. “Yeah.” He clenched his fist around the dog tags, then pulled them out and let them lie in his palm. Zelenka swore brokenly in Czech, and Cadman looked like she wanted to strap C4 to the sides of the building. He quickly put them away. “Found a trader who knew the planet. Sheppard tried to escape stealing his ship. The Jaffa shot him. Left him for dead.”

He was detached. He was clinical. He was a soldier reporting the death of a man and under complete control of his emotions. Those four years of drama study were paying off in ways he’d never imagined he’d need. “The guy waited till the Jaffa were gone, then pulled those off, and snatched the GDO. Apparently, he’d run into SGC personnel before.”

“I want-“

“We have to go.” Lorne knew Cadman wanted to talk with the non-existent man. In some ways, she’d been like the annoying sister Sheppard never had. “It’d be suspicious if we went back in.” He reached out, but didn’t touch her. She was seething, but it was a mask. Just like Zelenka’s swearing, just like his distance. They all wore masks, to cope, to handle natives, even around the people at the SGC.

Hopefully, he thought as he marched them towards the Stargate, no one would look too closely at his mask, or at the fact that his pain was far, far different, and far, far deeper, than theirs ever was.

And that Sheppard found whatever thing he thought there was in Mer’deth.  



End file.
